For those of you who don’t know, I write with the intention of publishing under a psuedonym, but I send off small excerpts to friends so they can constructively criticise my writing. I don’t even give a shit if they hate the concept of my work or if they love it, as long as they critique it in a constructive way. As the case always is with excerpts of text, context is usually needed, and I always supply this if I feel the excerpt is confusing in any way or if I’m asked. After all, it is my writing and I am extremely proud of it, since it’s like my baby in a way.
After that little bit of context, let’s get on to the main event.
I sent a paragraph off to a friend, in which one of my characters buys a cupcake for another and tells her that the icing matches her eyes, and part of my thoughts on this scene that I sent to a friend was that the character fell in love with this woman almost the first time he met her, since she’s so firey and he likes that. My friend told me that this was highly unrealistic and that it was stupid to “only base a relationship on looks”. In reply, I told her that Jake (my male character) didn’t fall in love with Brooke (female character) for her looks, even though that’s a small part of it, since she is unusual in terms of looks due to her pink hair. But the line which is “I got you a cupcake,” […] “It matches your eyes.” is actually Jake just flirting, as people do when they have a crush on someone. If they do end up together, their relationhip will be personality based instead of based on looks. My friend also told me that “There’s no chemistry, like with Edward and Bella.” SERIOUSLY!?