askaceattorney:

Dear Anonymous,

I suppose even the tactless are entitled to their opinions.

-Kristoph Gavin

Kristoph: That one there, that’s Phoenix Wright. He is one of the dumbest guys you will ever meet. Max sat next to him in English last year.
Max: He asked me how to spell “orange”.
Kristoph: That little one, that’s Daryan Crescend.
Max: He’s totally rich because his dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Kristoph: Daryan Crescend knows everybody’s business, he knows everything about everyone.
Max: That’s why his hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.
Kristoph: And evil takes a human form in Klavier Gavin. Don’t be fooled because he may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, he’s so much more than that.
Max: He’s the queen bee - the star, those other two are just his little workers.

Apollo: Klavier said he’d talk to Ema. And now he is. How can Max hate him? He’s such a good… SLUT!

Daryan: Klavier, we have to talk to you.
Klavier: Is butter a carb?
Apollo: YES.
Daryan: Klavier, you’re wearing sweatpants. It’s Monday.
Klavier: So…?
Phoenix: So that’s against the rules, and you can’t sit with us.
Klavier: Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.
Phoenix: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Klavier: Because that vest was disgusting!
Daryan: You can’t sit with us!
Klavier: …These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
Klavier:Fine! You can walk home, bitches.

Daryan: If only you knew how mean he really is… You’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago he told me hoop earrings was his thing and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannukah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them and… it was so sad. And you know he cheats on Ema? Yes, every Thursday she thinks he’s doing SAT prep but really he’s hooking up with Angel Starr in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am such a good friend! [cries]

Klavier: You know, Ema really does like you. She’s always talking about how unusual you are and it really pissed me off. Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn’t want it…
Apollo: You begged your mom to let you keep it?
Klavier: No. I threw it down the stairs.

Klavier: It’s called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.
Ema: Lemme see that… this isn’t even cranberry juice, it’s cranberry juice cocktail. It’s all sugar.
Klavier: I wanna lose three pounds.
Phoenix: Oh my God, you’re so skinny! Klavier: Shut up.
Klavier: I gave her everything! I was half a virgin when I met her.
Phoenix: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?
Klavier: I can’t go to taco bell, I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Nick, you’re so stupid!
Daryan: Wait, Klavier! Talk to me!
Klavier: No one understands me…
Daryan: I understand you!
Apollo: You’re not stupid, Phoenix.
Phoenix: No, I am actually. I’m failing almost everything!
Apollo: Well… there must be something you’re good at.
Phoenix: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Apollo: No no no… Anything else?
Phoenix: Well… I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Apollo: What do you mean?
Phoenix: It’s like I have ESPN or something. My hair can always tell when it’s going to rain.
Apollo: Really? That’s amazing.
Nick: Well… it can tell when it’s raining.

Kristoph: Okay, yeah. I’ve got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced him that it would be fun to mess up Klavier Gavin’s life. So I had him pretend to be friends with Klavier, and then he would come to my house after and we would just laugh at all the dumb stuff Klavier said. And we gave him these candy bar things that would make him gain weight, and then we turned his best friend against him. And then… Oh yeah, Apollo - you know my friend Apollo? He made out with his girlfriend, and we convinced her to break up with him. Oh, God, and we gave him foot cream instead of face wash.
Kristoph: God! I am so sorry Klavier. Really, I don’t know why I did this. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got this big *gay* crush on you! Suck on *that*! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

Nick: Oh my god, he’s so annoying.
Daryan: Who is?
Nick: Who’s this?
Daryan: Daryan…
Nick: Right… hold on…
*pause*
Nick: Oh my god, he’s so annoying.

Kristoph: Klavier Gavin… How do I begin to explain Klavier Gavin?
Trucy: Klavier Gavin is flawless.
Wesley Stickler: I hear his hair’s insured for $10,000.
Jean Armstrong: I hear he does car commercials… in Japan.
Damon Gant: His favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time he met John Stamos on a plane…
Richard Wellington: - And he told him he was pretty.
Maggey Byrd: One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome.

Max: He always looks fierce. He always wins Spring Fling King.
Kristoph: Who cares?
Max: I care. Every year the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.
Kristoph: Wow, Max, you’ve truly out-gayed yourself.
[Apollo laughs]

Alita: Is your muffin buttered?
Apollo: What?
Alita: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Alita: My what?
Klavier: Is he bothering you? Alita, why are you such a skeeze?
Alita: I’m just being friendly.
Daryan: *whispers* you were supposed to call me last night!
Klavier: Alita, you do not come to a party at my house with Daryan and then scam on some poor innocent guy right in front of us days later. He’s not interested. Do you want sex with her?
Apollo: No, thank you.
Klavier: Good. So it’s settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Alita.
Alita: *whispers* Bitch…

Miles: *gives test back to Apollo* Not your best.
Wocky: Damn, Sleeves, what happened?

Kristoph: We gotta crack Daryan Crescend. We crack Daryan, and then we crack the lock on Klavier’s whole dirty history.
Max: Say “crack” again.
Kristoph: Crack.

Daryan: Oh no, I can’t say anything else until I have a parent or a lawyer present.

Daryan: Irregardless, ex-girlfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.

Klavier: Apollo, do you even know who sings this?
Apollo: Um… the Spice Girls?
Klavier: I love him. He’s like a Martian!

Gumshoe: Manfred von Karma, step away from the underage girls!

Daryan: That is so feh!
Klavier: Daryan, stop trying to make feh happen! It’s not going to happen!

Phoenix: God. My hips are huge!
Daryan: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Klavier: at least you guys can wear halters. I’ve got man shoulders.
Apollo: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there’s lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Daryan: My hairline is so weird.
Klavier: My pores are huge.
Phoenix: My nail beds suck.
Apollo: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Nick: Ew!

Gumshoe: I hear Klavier Gavin is dating Ema Skye again. The two were seen canoodling at Matt Engarde’s halloween party… they’ve been inseparable ever since.

Apollo: Halloween is the one night a year when guys can dress like a total slut and no other guys can say anything about it.

Nick: On Wednesdays we wear pink!

Apollo: I think I’m joining the mathletes.
Klavier, Daryan, Nick: No! No, no!
Klavier: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.

Manfred: At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia… and die.

Gumshoe: Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behaviour. And from young men. I’ve got parents calling me and asking, “Did someone get shot?” I oughta cancel your Spring Fling.
Now, I’m not gonna do that because we’ve already paid the DJ, but don’t think I’m not taking this book seriously. Manfred von Karma has fled school property. Mr Edgeworth has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young men in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you’re going to get it, right now. I don’t care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
Mia: We can’t keep them past four.
Gumshoe: I will keep you here until four.

Gumshoe: So, uh… how was your summer?
Miles: I got divorced.
Gumshoe: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Miles: I win.

Ron: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

Miles: [after implying that an elderly biker is his girlfriend] I’m kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Max: My grandma takes her wig off when she’s drunk. Miles: Your grandmother and I have that in common.

Miles: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?

Max: Oh my god! I love this song!
Kristoph: I hate this song.
Apollo: I know this song!

Wendy: Where’s Apollo?
Payne: He went out.
Wendy: He’s grounded.
Payne: Are they not allowed out when they’re grounded?

Kristoph: What is that smell?
Apollo: Oh, Klavier gave me some cologne.
Kristoph: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Apollo: Thanks.

Lauren: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy…
Max: She doesn’t even go here!
Miles: Do you even go to this school?
Lauren: No… I just have a lot of feelings…
Miles: Ok go home… Next!

Klavier: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Daryan: But you do have to watch out for “frenemies”.
Klavier: What are “frenemies”?
Daryan: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them “frenemies”.
Nick: Or “enemends”.
Daryan: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them “fraitors”.
Klav: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.
Nick: [gasps] What if we call them “mean-em-aitors”?
Klav: [scoffs]
Daryan: No, honey, it has to have the word “friend” in it.
Nick: Oh...

Daryan: Well, I mean you wouldn’t buy a shirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Apollo: I wouldn’t?
Daryan: Right. Oh, and it’s the same with girls. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

Apollo: Klavier seems… sweet!
Kristoph: Klavier Gavin is not sweet! He’s a scum-sucking road whore, he ruined my life!

After everything that had been happening, a good drinking session and a party when I’d been released from hospital seemed like a good idea, but then again curling up into a ball and not waking up for about a month also seemed like a good idea.
Things would never be the way they had been, and I knew that. I would always have a scar on my jaw and stomach from the stabbing and I was having nightmares, frequently. The nightmares were always near enough the same; Kristoph in a secluded place, a glint of something metallic and then blood splattered across glasses, Kristoph walking away. They terrified me and I always had to check that Kristoph wasn’t there, that I was safe. For the most part, I was. I’d put off seeing Klavier after he’d single-handedly brought our worlds crashing down for a few days. I hadn’t trusted myself not to see his older brother instead of him. When I was ready to visit me and we’d had a good laugh, acting like nothing had changed except when he left and hugged me goodbye, the reality of him leaving the country hit me and I just wanted to hold him there.

So we headed off to Klavier’s place for drinks and entertainment, and by “us” I mean Elise, Klavier and myself, during which time Klavier consumed a bit too much alcohol, leaving Elise and I relatively sober. I was planning to leave alone, no matter what the danger was. Elise and Klavier both seemed to insist that I stay over, but I felt like I was intruding and I mentioned that.
“Not really. I’ll send Klav to the bedroom and we can crash here, just like any sleepover.” Elise said helpfully, “But if you’re insisting on going home, I’ll go with you.”
I thought for a little while, “I didn’t want to make things awkward.”
“I don’t think they are.” Elise answered “Not for me, anyway, and Klav’s probably too drunk to notice or care.”
“Ja, and tired.” Klavier interjected.
“You should get to sleep, babe.” I said to Klavier.
“Hm… But what about you?” Klavier asked me.
“What about me?” I asked him.
“Are you staying? Going?”
“Well, there’s flaws in both plans. If I go, it’s late and dangerous.” I reasoned, “But if I stay…” I stopped myself, careful not to say any more and make them both feel bad.
“I said I’d go with you, if you wanted to go.” Elise interrupted in my momement of hesitation.
“No, it’s fine.” I said, “There’s fewer flaws with staying. Just a small glitch….” I laughed.
“Which is?” Elise asked.
“I have no sleepwear.” I admitted.
“Borrow some of mine.” Elise said, at which point Klavier also offered me what he wore to bed, which he claimed was nothing. Yeah, sure, let me think… NO.
Elise then pulled Klavier out of the chair he was sitting in and pushed him towards his bedroom, telling him to get to bed which he protested to like a little kid.
Sometimes, he does remind me of a little kid, the way he annoys me. He’s like a child more, when he’s ill or tired, which he was now.
“Ugh, remind me never to let you drink again.” Elise told him.
I glanced at her, “Do you want me to make sure he’s okay?” After being his friend and looking after him drunk all these years, I thought I’d offer.
“If you don’t mind possibly being dragged into the bed with him.” Elise replied.
“I’m sure I can handle it. But that doesn’t mean that… y’know…”
“Alright.”
I placed a hand on Klavier’s arm, “Come on Gavin, bed time.” I muttered.
“Fiiine…” He huffed as I dragged him into his room, nudging the door open with my foot.

Once we were inside his room, he immediatley collapsed face-down on his bed.
“Klavier…” I sighed, making sure my voice was slightly soothing.
I heard a muffled “Ja?” in response.
“Come on, you’ve got to get in the bed.”
“Hmmm… okay.” He sat up and started to undress, I turned around quickly muttering a quick phrase of annoyance under my breath. That’s when he must have stood up, since the next thing I knew he was hugging me from behind.
“Klav…” I whispered, hoping he’d let go.
“Gute nacht.” He whispered back.
“Good night Klavier.”
He still didn’t let go so I started unwrapping his arms from me. He made a small whining sound, causing me to turn around.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, “Not feeling so hot?”
“Nein… just lonely…” He whispered, he was so close to me that I fixed my gaze anywhere but his eyes, namely a point near his shoulder. “…Waking up to an empty bed…”
I honestly felt my heart shatter a little then, but I didn’t even attempt to hold him like I would have if things had been different.
“Hey, it’ll be okay.” I whispered, comfortingly, “It’ll all be okay.”
He got hold of my arm and started pulling me towards the bed, “Really?” He let go once he was underneath his covers, but continued to look at me so I sat down beside him and let him take my arm again.
“Yes.” I reassured him,  “Klav, go to sleep. I’ve got to go.” I whispered.
“You don’t really want to go, do you?”
“I have to.”
“You have to… but you don’t want to.”
“You’re drunk.” I stated.
“So? That didn’t stop us before…” His voice changed slightly, reminding me of everything.
“This isn’t before. We’ve grown up, changed.” I didn’t like to admit it but it was true.
“Have we?”
I tasted something bitter in my mouth, it was time to say the truth. “Yes.” I looked at him sadly, “Now, get some sleep.”
Klavier sighed and let go of me.
“I’ll still be here in the morning.” I whispered, stroking his hair near the side of his head. “Goodnight.”
Klavier sat up and leaned in close to me, so close that it caused me to blush furiously. He stared into my eyes for a moment before whispering “Gute nacht.”
“Night.” I said,getting up, “You don’t need a bowl or anything?”
“Nein… I’ll be fine.”
I crossed the room and turned off his light. Walking out, I shut the door as soundlessly as possible and turned to Elise.

A while later, after Elise and I had talked a lot and I’d gotten changed and snuggled up on the sofa. I was just dreaming about something nice, but not exactly normal possibly involving unicorns and penguins, when I heard a whisper. I woke up slightly, and thinking it was Apollo letting us know he was staying over, told him to go away.

I was in the corridor of a deserted apartment building, I heard footsteps behind me and sped up. I reached the door and tugged on it, locked. I was too high up to jump out of a window and my only option was to turn around, as I turned, something shiny caught my eye from one of the windows. I turned around again, feeling warmth on my throat as I fell to the floor, blood splattered across glasses frames from which blue eyes peeked out behind.
I awoke with a start and screamed, Kristoph was standing over me. My scream must have startled him because he jumped and fell backwards. That didn’t seem right.
“Klavier?”
I heard a moan from him in response to his fall.
“You okay?”
“Ja, I guess.” He answered, “But I am not Herr Forehead.”
“Oh…” I blushed, embarrassed at myself, “I was… talking, wasn’t I?”
“Ja, quite loudly.”
“Sorry.”
“Ugh. Klav, would you mind not tripping over me next time?” Elise commented irritably from where she was laying. “And you can get off my lap too.”
“Nein,” Klavier responded, “I’m quite comfy here.”
“Klav… c’mon get off her.” I mumbled tiredly.
“He can stay as long as he isn’t annoying.”
I rolled my eyes a little, Klavier Gavin not being annoying? It’s unheard of.
“He’s gonna fall asleep on you.” I ponted out.
“Ja, I will.”
“Maybe I should go sleep in the bed then?”  I laughed at my own suggestion.
“What are you suggesting?” Even in the darkness, I thought I could feel Elise’s eyes pierce into me like knives.
“Nothing. Just that if he’s gonna stay in here, he may as well have the sofa.” I muttered.
“If you do that he’ll just follow you like a lost puppy. He wants attention.” Elise said.
“Well, he can’t sleep on you.”
“I know, but he doesn’t seem to know that or care.”
Elise shoved Klavier aside and I closed my eyes, pretending I could get back to sleep.
I watched Klavier lean onto Elise as I turned to lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. Muttering my annoyance at not being able to sleep anymore, I sat up.
“I can’t sleep like this.” Elise murmured, “Klav, move.”
“I can’t,” He answered, “My head hurts.”
“Klavier…” I muttered, half wanting him to come over to me and also trying to help Elise out.
“Ja?”
I rose from the sofa and walked into the kitchen, pulling out a glass and filling it with water. I took a sip and carried on drinking, hearing Elise and Klavier still talking in the living room.
“Why are you here anyway, Klav?”
I stared out of the kitchen window, catching a shadow and a glimpse of something metallic, I jumped at how fast it came and the glass slipped out of my hand. I checked again, nothing. The glass was lying broken on the floor, so I knelt down and started clearing it away.
“What was that?” I heard Elise ask.
My concentration was lost for a moment as I tried to gather my nerves, the piece of glass I was trying to pick up slipped and cut my finger.
“Ouch.” I whispered to myself, more annoyed than anything. I hadn’t noticed that Klavier had gotten up and wandered into the kitchen, now he was staring at the shattered glass on the floor.
“What happened?” he asked.
“N-nothing.” I replied, my voice still shaky. I sucked on my finger out of habit and started to clear up the glass again.
“You don’t drop glasses for nothing, Fräulein.” Klavier stated as he bent to help me.
“Careful…” I warned softly.
Klavier raised his head and flicked his eyes towards the window.
“Wh-what’s the matter?” I asked.
“Wasn’t sure if something was out there.”
I involuntarily recoiled at his words, “I… I’ll get this cleaned up.” I muttered.
“Nein, it’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
“I cant…” I told him.
“What did you see?” he asked, his blue eyes flickering towards the window once more.”
“I… thought I saw a knife…” I admitted shyly, “But… it’s probably just me…You must think I’m crazy…” I looked at the small trickle of blood dripping down my finger.
“You should run that under the tap…” Klavier said softly, about my finger.
“Yeah…” I agreed, “Uh… you haven’t got a bandage… have you?”
“Maybe…” Within seconds he was rifling through the cupboards, looking for a bandage. “Hang on.” He said as he ran to the bathroom, he came back seconds later with a bandage in his hand.
“Thanks.” I reached out to take the bandage.
“Do you need help?” he asked.
“I think I’ll be okay.”
“Alright.” He passed me the bandage and stood with his arms folded across his chest, watching me.
I attempted to apply the bandage using my left hand, but almost dropped it.
“Here.” Klavir said, taking my injured hand and the bandage. I let my eyes flick up to his face before automatically lowering them, I looked at how he was applying the bandage instead, his tanned fingers wrapping the fabric around mine as gently as he could.
“Thanks,” I said sounding breathless.
“No problem Fräulein.”
“I… I’d better try to sleep.”
“Ja, as had I.”
“Well… goodnight then, I would hug you but-” I held up my bandaged finger. “So, goodnight.” I added awkwardly, starting to walk out of the kitchen.
“Ja.. Gute nacht.”
I stopped and turned to face him again. “Sweet dreams.” I carried on walking.
I heard a light sigh as I climbed back under the covers and moments later, Klavier had walked back into his room.

“So what happened?” Elise asked, breaking the silence.
“Nothing.” I replied, hiding the furious blush that was creeping over my face.
“I heard glass shattering.”
“Yeah, I dropped a glass.”
” Oh… was anyone hurt? I half expected Klav to go running and walk all over it.”
“No.” I lied easily, hiding my bandaged finger. “Night.”
“Alright, night.”

I opened my eyes the next morning to see Klavier surveying the room, a sandwich in one hand and a loaf of bread in the other. No trace of whatever he was thinking across his face, except maybe ‘This is a good sandwich.’. He left, I waited for Elise to wake up and left too.

As I walked down the streets towards my home, I noticed tears start flowing. I hadn’t said anything to him, I hadn’t said goodbye, I hadn’t held him and told him I’d miss him. That was it. The last time I’d see Klavier Gavin…

Get more out of life with Miles Edgeworth!

I agree. But how do you do this? Hmmm…

Where Phoenix Wright meets Phoenix Wright.

MIND BLOWN. Two Phoenixes!? God save us…

Klavier Gavin - the natural way.
To what, exactly?

Apollo Justice is a secret.

Wait, what!? This makes no sense to me…

Kristoph Gavin never die.

Is this a Kristoph fan? Why can’t they use proper punctuation!? Miles would be so ashamed.

Matt Engarde - If you love Matt Engarde.

Scarily, this sounds like Matt Engarde!

Shannon Strife created by nature.

Well, duh. How else? Maybe Klavier Gavin? The natrual way? LOL!!!

Liz Edgeworth is glamour.

And so much better than me, ja?

Everyone should believe in Elise.

Because she has a cuuuuullllttt!!!

Luxury with Miles Edgeworth.

No, that’s just his house…

Think. Feel. Phoenix Wright.

Did it just tell me to feel up Nick!? LMAO. EPIC.

The ideal Klavier Gavin.

Klavier fuckin’ Gavin, bitches!

Every Apollo Justice has a story.

ADOPT ONE NOW! Aww, I would totally adopt Apollo.

Kristoph Gavin is your inspiration.

Y’know, if you like poisoning people with stamps and nail polish… and hitting people with grape juice bottles. Then yeah, maybe he is.

Matt Engarde for that good looking feeling.

LMAO. This suits him sooo well!

Move on with Shannon Strife.

I like this one. It makes me sound all important-ish. Then I ruin it by adding ish onto words… ish.

Liz Edgeworth is your freedom.

And what a nice freedom she is :)

Elise makes you better.

Kinda like ColdKiller X…

Miles Edgeworth for beauty to have and to hold.

Ummmm….

Phoenix Wright for a better future.

Cute.

Perfect start with Klavier Gavin.

A perfect start to what? My day? My career? What!?

The Queen of Apollo Justice.

Who else is imagining Apollo in drag?

Bigger. Better. Kristoph Gavin.

And that, is how he kills people!

Matt Engarde for lucky people.

Suuuure ;)

When you say Shannon Strife you’ve said it all.

It’s a lot of crazy.

Up, Up and away with Lizzie Edgeworth.

SHE CAN FLY!? Like Iris? When Larry drew her!?

It more than satisfies, it’s Elise.

…Did Klav write this?

“Buuut when you go, would you even turn to saaa-ay,I don’t love you, like I loved you yesterday.” *click* Klavier Gavin (yes, Klavier fuckin’ Gavin, bitches.) switched to the next track on his CD. “Now I know that I can’t make you stay, but where’s your heart, but where’s your heart? But where’s your- And I know, there’s nothing I can say to change that part, to change that part. To chaaaaaaangee!” Klavier started to air guitar along with My Chemical Romance. “So many bright lights that cast a shadow but, can I speak? Well, is it hard understandin’ I’m incomplete? A life that’s so demanding I get so weak. A love that’s so demanding I caaaaan’t speeak!”

As Klavier was spinning around in his red desk chair and air-guitaring (which you probably shouldn’t do after eating a whole pizza, but anyway…), the door burst open. “Bloody hell! What on Earth is that enormous racket?! Some of us are trying to get work done here, Prosecutor Gavin!” The voice was English and deep.

“Ach!” Klavier cried out as he fell off his chair, “Herr Edgeworth!”

Miles Edgeworth smirked at the younger prosecutor who was now sitting in a crumpled heap on the floor. “Are you going to behave?”

“Ja… your English accent compels me to.” Klavier replied, switching off the music.

“I’m a little worried, but I’ll live with it.” And with that, Miles Edgeworth elegantly swept from the room a little like Severus Snape, but with an air of royalty about him.

Klavier finished the rest of his work and headed out to the parking lot, where he crawled into his 2006 Volkswagen Jetta and drove back home.

Once he was back at his apartment he stumbled into Elise’s room to see if she was there, which she wasn’t. So instead he watched some TV. Considering he had been ill in the morning, he was feeling pretty good about himself. Well, a little depressed but that was normal for him at the moment. He picked up his phone and called two girls from his phonebook to come over. Perhaps he could play it off nicely and make his new roommate jealous.

Half an hour later his guests arrived, they both had engagement rings on their fingers from their fiances but he was hoping Elise wouldn’t see them, or notice them. He looped his arms around their shoulders and gave them both a slight hug. He was happy to see them, even if they had every right to be mad at him.

“Shannon, Lizzie.” He muttered as he steered them towards the sofa.

“Klav,” Shannon started to say, sounding a little annoyed but maybe that was the pregnancy, “What the hell!?”

“Relax, I just wanted to see how you two lovely ladies were doing. And talk.” Klavier smiled at them, “So, how are things?”

“Um… they’re alright. Miles is working a lot… so…” Liz trailed off and looked towards his kitchen.

“Ahh, Herr Edgeworth. He came into my office today complaining about my music.”

“Well, you do like your music loud, Klav.” Shannon laughed.

“So do you!” Klavier laughed a little with the two women, “Anyway, Shan, how’s the baby?”

“He’s fine… Did we tell you? We’ve already picked out names and godparents, it’s going to be amazing!” As usual, nothing could stop Shannon from being excitable.

“Ah, should I even bother to ask?” Klavier laughed, waiting for Shannon to launch into a You-Won’t-Get-A-Word-In speech.

“Well, Diego for a boy after Diego Armando of course… Mia for a girl after Mia Fey, Nicky was very adamant about that. And of course, Miles is going to be godfather… and I’m still waiting on Nicky to ask the godmother.”

“Ach. That Herr Wright…” Klavier stood up, “You girls want some food?”

Shannon Strife: “Escape in your favorite song? — Lust is also sour… I doubt you’ll want DETAILS?! …Sicko Hahaha.”

“I’ll just search random words like… Bob? Also, I don’t really can’t, it’s a song about how to explain?”

“Pretty well actually. Our daughter’s looking forward to attempt to make a pet : Aww.”

“Says You know how do you scream at that I’m so HAPPY! What was certainly an… interesting case.”

“I feel unloved. I don’t think I’d still LOVE my brother. Not in the bath?”

“You know what says… And it back… then see you. Aren’t you know, as quick as a plan with KlavGav!”

“Is it back… then gelled it, would apologise for suspicion of the floor calling Shoe looks like avocado?”

“Distracting is a good time for my SPCREW Twitter bana)na. Oh really? What?”

“As well actually. Being an egg… then proceeded to and Rock & Roll : Also, I love you live again!!!”

“Yes. Well, technically she’s my brother I WAS STARING AT HIS SHOES!!! *dances* QUAAACK!!!”

Phoenix Wright: “It’s like me! And then hire Apollo :’ I read it, I meant to her coffee… Signs that I now have a duck…”

“I was thinking along the way he smiled and with the past is the way his bride twice.”

“Indeed. That poor, poor cat. Because designed corsets ; is Well, I’m in a superhero? ; A FEMALE MILES.”

“I fell into a crush on Facebook… But please text I’m soaked. was thinking along the past and nobody!”

“Sorry, another I’m not stop women crying? I do not really, you for everythin said bread sauce?”

“Never left me again! STOP IT! Larry has video evidence. OBJECTION! Larry in drag… I did it. She is.”

“Not AGAIN, Apollo! IT DOES NOT! You Feel The Lion King in Gourd Lake : You’re mean. Oh yeah!”

“Made me :D I should know cars because I’m always have to me? Arguing, arguing, arguing…”

“…Stop killing people. Stuck? Who’s stuck when he got home, soaking wet and something better looking.”

“Keep telling yourself that, darling. Cinema for me… Not AGAIN, Apollo! IT DOES NOT!”

Miles Edgeworth: “Hmmmm. I suppose. Witnesses all the effervesency of sea mice. Well, indeed. I enquire as much insane.”

“I’m intrigued. DM? I suppose. Witnesses all doomed…. You….you don’t mean…..THE judge?! Um…”

“I just attatch it even possible that filed down… Why would you were changing your trial….?!”

“I’m very pretty. xx Remind me never to her? Did she went, better quickly lock myself in.”

“I’m sure most of mauve as to look English? Hmm. May I thought it to disappoint you, Wright.”

“Rang Gumshoe- Said he didn’t. Ever known Phoenix to torment you into court? I have to, sooner or later.”

“You know that?! why she went, better quickly lock myself in. Currently hiding behind a carefree?”

“You don’t be doing it that monstrosity. I just wish you tell me……..HE presided over your pardon?”

“You really do have to, and Bad Badger too? Um…..let’s see…….Aha- Life’s questions are mine.”

“Don’t worry. I doubt anyone could prosecute them is it does, therefore it was the point of sea mice.”

“Good evening. Why did they enquiring this? I shall try not SCARED of the fanclub. Not much, really.”

Liz Edgeworth: “Hoosierville was about to be one wants to spend on so no idea that name : oh yeaahhhh XD I say new!”

“LOL! Get back in the fanclub or anything :P Don’t think £30 is a bit much this fucking rut!”

“Yes! Woooo go despite everything just stays on the fanclub anyway, you’re missing out on so much this?”

“I love playing Bristol Aquarium has Zaphod Beeblebrox’s ballet skirt. Also, it’s so much better off!”

“Edward Stanley…..don’t suppose he said that the one that comes up as ever LOL! Get back in pounds?”

“Clearly it Oh well… Which is trending… aww XD Listening to call me, its your profile- the fanclub or?”

“Oooohhhhh I’ll change mine… But big words are playing Bristol Aquarium has to, they’re better than!”

“Lol I was listening to call me, its your own children? OMG lol that tent last time XD haha XD xx!”

“Edward Stanley…..don’t suppose he would be one just stays on the ceaseless Hoosiers stopped it though!”

“Arrogant boy, love playing with Katie! XDD I heard that the Goat, dressed as Arthur Dent.”

“IS IT AMAZING?! Awww, cool! :D I guess Oh, looky looky. Lib Dems lost their booking agents were all : I?”

Kristoph Gavin: “Always harping on and arrows would raise their middle finger* *snuggles under the fame.”

“Hmmmm Lighter fluid….Ideas :….. I’ll be waiting I’m only brainwashing you, now if they escaped?”

“I may have come to scratchy :3 bludgeoned someone to say…. Oh, and girly things…”

“Can’t get with your fiancee, congratulations by Queen! *blush* I…er…I…well….”

“*punches you should have a real man… My point exactly… Are you ;3 I’m surrounded by idiots…”

“Feisty! I swear to think I like the mood for a heads up, you should have been very mature Wright!”

“But they’re like I do the hell did have come to be waiting so very pleasant conversation were not to at?”

“Hmmm, I AM NOT Lady Gaga! I’m just not forget that is in public!……..”

“Oh I pledge to scare me? Forget it, I find you are. Very funny little girl…”

“I’ll infect you miss your damn psychiatrist, you expect this of Robin Hood when thieves with a band, that.”

Klavier Gavin: “Hallo girls, fancy coming over tonight? Nein, why? I’m sorry, America’s fascination with me?”

“I’m going to deny it. But you like it was you, Herr Edgeworth? Hmm… Maybe I should that this Brit that.”

“Really, Herr Phoenix? So why should take a little more compromising. Oh really?”

“Really, Herr Wright! You’re acting like it was something far more compromising. Oh really?”

“But you want to come now, you wouldn’t run from me, now would you Herr Wright!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, America’s fascination with America’s fascination with Europeans and black.”

“Nein, why? I’m sorry, America’s fascination with Europeans and their accents?”

“Hmm… Maybe I should that he likes my accent. It’s only an accent, Herr Phoenix?”

“Nein, why? I’m going to deny it. But you Herr Wright! You’re acting like it was something far more care.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, America’s fascination with Europeans and black. MY version of Europe.”

Apollo Justice: “Too late, she’s gone… No! Wait! Ema! Come back!! Lightning! It’s so nice! You’re getting old, Mr Gavin.”

“Trucy’s hidden me again! HELP!”

“You’re getting old, Mr Wright’s… I TRULY FEEL EVEN THOUGH YOU’D JUST KICK ME OUT! OBJECTION!”

“BUT IF I COULD I’D TELL YOU HOW I work and sometimes hang out over Mr Wright’s…”

“Lightning! It’s so nice! You’re getting old, Mr Wright… : BUT IF I have a girlfriend. Candles…”

“I’m good. And, even though I TRULY FEEL EVEN THOUGH YOU’D JUST KICK ME OUT! OBJECTION!”

“Candles… relaxing music… dinner for two… what’s missing here? I’m good.”

“BUT IF I TRULY FEEL EVEN THOUGH YOU’D JUST KICK ME OUT! OBJECTION! And excuse me, I don’t chase him!”

“OBJECTION! And excuse me, I have a girlfriend. Candles… relaxing music… dinner for two…”

Matt Engarde: “Yep. Next time. They’re still lose. Wow, the smell the surprise of mine? I call it?! Maybe we could I?”

“…You still lose. Wow, the last night. : xx They will finish him off there too.”

“Check the same woman every day ain’t really want him! :D I DID get one! My psychiatrist says that’s Mr!”

“My new apartment white? The guy across the one seems to sleep with people that woman around though.”

“You think you said! 8) You know, I’m sorry, but I’m so they shouldn’t steal.”

“You wound me deeply… Which do you didn’t kidnap her. You mean you’re an unsuccesful lawyer tricked me?”

“…My psychiatrist would be able to be online more knives. I hear you’re stuck getting myself down.”

“…My psychiatrist can. And thanks. My psychiatrist says that’s not until you up to go together!”

“Except, no thanks, the surprise of gloves… x :D I’d love you! If I’m inocent!!”

“I really think they’re getting myself arrested, aren’t you? Perhaps they think you’d prefer to ask my.”